Pear Up

I've got pears on the brain the last couple of days. I don't really know why, except I'm officially tired of drawing Christmas stuff. We finished taking all the decorations down today, with the exception of the outside icicle lights, which will come down on New Year's Day. As much as I love it, I'm always glad to get my house back.



I have a set of decorative pears that I bought at Target a while back - YES they are fake, but they can sit out and the dogs don't try to eat them or anything. Ben did try to make one into a cat toy yesterday, so I picked it up and drew it instead. I had some 140 lb watercolor paper (cold press) torn into ATC sizes leftover from a project, so I used it. My Lyra Aquacolor crayons were nearby on the kitchen table, so that's what I used to paint it.



















Today I cleared the sewing stuff off my studio table and got out some larger sheets of watercolor paper to play with. I grabbed the pear from the ottoman and brought it upstairs. I first tried a little acrylic ink, which got way too wacky on me, although I almost like it.


















And then I grabbed the Aquacolors again for the last one - I used a little too much water and the shadow ran off with my pear color, but I kind of like the background-free design of it.

There's more to come, soon, I hope. I've been out of the studio way too long and it is showing. My drawing skills have done well over the month of December, but really handling paint has kind of escaped me.

I'm thinking of my 2008 goals, and I'll get them posted as soon as I run them by Linda. We'll meet up on January 1 to get them on paper. It's so nice to have an art buddy.

Monkey Business

Monkey Business, originally uploaded by diahn.

The week of Christmas is always a challenge. As much as I love Christmas, it always seems like things fly by and no one remembers to say thank you and we forgot to read the Christmas story until the very end and I didn't even get to watch Rudolph. sigh.

One of the things that adds to it is that my husband and I managed to have our first child 2 days before Christmas, so we're always having to figure out how to incorporate his birthday into all the craziness, without forgetting that it is important. That's just way too many presents in a 3-day time period for one kid, you know? Well, anyway...

D is 8 years old now - tall and handsome and clever. He's in that strange period of a boy's life where Hot Wheels and Legos and Nintendo DS's are starting to take over stuffed animals, but they haven't knocked them out completely, you know? In honor of my little monkey boy I got him a little monkey Webkin, which he promptly named "Kitty." Boys.

On the right hand side of the spread is a toy we made out at Cade's Cove in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We drove up on the day after Christmas, which was a chilly, but beautiful day. The sky was gloriously blue, deer were abundant and tourists were not. The rangers had set up an exhibition station with period toys and the change to make ones for ourselves. We all made "buzz saws," a wooden button on a string that you wind and then pull in and out between your hands while it turns, like a buzz saw. It was fun and a nice little necklace to wear while we were walking.

And the new kitten thought it was brilliant.

Maybe tomorrow I wil post the deer pictures - and the sky pictures...it really was glorious...

Little Ben

Little Ben, originally uploaded by diahn.

We brought Ben home today. He was at our vet's office, waiting for a home and we were in need of a kitten. He's about 2 months old, they think, playful and a bit wild.

Oscar and Chico are reserving judgement until later.

Peanut Butter Blossoms

ink and water soluble crayons in large Moleskine sketchbook

D and I made these earlier in the week. J was off playing at his friend's house for the afternoon, so he didn't get to participate in the making, although he did enjoy the eating. Today was the first day I've felt like eating a cookie, so I sat down with them and took a bite and started drawing. They really are quite delicious. You can find the recipe at Hershey's website. Yummm.

On an art materials note - I really like how the water soluble crayons behave in this sketchbook. Watercolors have always proved difficult to handle on the slick Moleskine paper, but I've been using both Lyra and Neocolor II crayons with great success. I use my water brush and take the color right off the tip of the crayon (as if they were pan watercolors), then either mix it in the top of the tin or apply it directly to the paper. I saw where Kate Johnson had done that on a recent trip when she lost her watercolor palette, and thought I'd give it a whirl.

And I just wanted to say thanks for all the sympathy - it's been much appreciated. It's hard to accept sympathy for something that I've elected to have done, and in 24 months I certainly won't need any sympathy 'cause my teeth'll be so purty...

I'll try to not whine too much in the meantime.

Maybe.

Swiftly

This month has more than halfway slipped away - packing so much in a short period of time must be detrimental to ones health. I've hardly blinked and suddenly we're less than a week to Christmas. How does that happen? Even in trying to capture each day in my sketchbook, I've fallen behind and caught up and fallen behind and forgotten. Why do we do this to ourselves every year? I LOVE Christmas, but I hate the busy-ness of the Holiday Season.

Or I could just be cranky because I let someone yank my teeth out.

On Monday, the tooth behind my extraction had a filling crack and fall out, so I spent yesterday at the dentist getting a temporary filling, which promptly fell out again 5 hours later. So...guess what I did today? Yep - back again, this time with different material that will (with fingers crossed) hang on until I can go back for a permanent replacement filling. After I had my teeth extracted, I had a dream that all my other teeth fell out.

Crap.

Okay - on to the sketches. I'm playing catch up here, and please forgive me if teeth completely gross you out or anything - I really did draw them - they're very interesting.



The first sketch is of a glass reindeer ornament that my dear friend Maynelle gave to me. It's one of those that if I had another (pretty white retro-type) tree, I would give it a place of honor upon it. The second sketch is pretty self explanatory, except to say that the teeth on the top should only have two roots each and one of them had THREE. Yeah - I'm just that cool. (By the way - the teeth I've drawn on the top are actually my bottom teeth, and teeth on the top are my bottom teeth. But I did draw them facing the correct way...)



On the left was SUPPOSED to be a drawing of a silver reindeer candle holder, with all it's pretty reflections. Ummm. Well. We'll just blame it on the pain meds.

On the right is Chico, curled up in my lap, which technically isn't a Christmas decoration, it's a living, breathing, ornery chihuahua, but we were watching a Christmas movie while I drew him, and he does kind of look like the Grinch's dog Max, although he acts more like the Grinch.



And lastly, at least for now, is the two-headed chicken. This stuffed toy used to hang from a cross piece on D's play blanket when he was an infant. He would stare at it, and try to grab it and coo and all those cute things babies do when they are tiny. The thing is, he didn't react to the other dangly toys on the play mat - just this one, which I dubbed "The Two-Headed Chicken" way back when. So, when it came time to put away the playmat, after J had used it, too, I just couldn't part with the two-headed chicken.

So. Naturally. I hung it on the Christmas tree.

There ya go.

DANG...gle

Christmas 013, originally uploaded by diahn.

These little teardrop ornaments dangle from my dining room chandelier. I got them last year and they were just lost on my tree, so I decided to hang them from the chandelier - they stayed until about March, I think. They're so pretty and delicate, like mermaid tears, or something.

I'm recovering my my teeth-ectomy. I did a little drawing of them today, but I haven't scanned it yet - Is that gross? The actual teeth grossed Dr. SmartyPants out quite a bit, but the boys thought they were cool.

The tooth fairy still hasn't shown up.

The Stockings Were Hung

Christmas 019, originally uploaded by diahn.

No drawing today - sorry - I started one last night, but didn't finish it, and today isn't looking like it's going to happen. I'm off to the oral surgeon in an hour or so and expect to spend the rest of the day in a distant land called Versed. In a couple of weeks, you will be able to call me "brace face" or "metal mouth", until then, you can call me "hillbilly..."

I made these stockings a couple of years ago with raw canvas. I cut out the pattern, painted them, then sewed them together and glued on the pom pom fringe. It was all pretty easy, except the turning them inside out part - I used regular (craft) acrylic paint, and it stiffens up so much, I didn't think I'd ever get them turned! But they finally worked, and they are hanging from the mantle now...ready for some goodies...

I'm a Little Bit Country...

Guitar Ornament, originally uploaded by diahn.

...and a little bit Rock and Roll.

I bought this little ornament the other day to commemorate learning to play the guitar this year. It's not exactly like my guitar, but it is close enough. I like my acoustic/electric because I can play a little hoe-down and then switch on the amplifier to rock out if I want.

It suits the many sides of me...

inktense pencils in my large Moleskine sketchbook.

And for you photo lovers out there - here's my dining room, all the way around...

Flying Santa

Flying Santa, originally uploaded by diahn.

This is another ornament I bought for one of the boys, back in 2002. It's a resin ornament, but looks kind of like ceramic. I just love his little joyful face - like I think I would look if I suddenly discovered I could fly. I hung it from my desk lamp to paint it.

I used Dr. Ph. Martin's Radiant Concentrated Water Color - which is WAY concentrated - lordy. I had to go back on the body and add some white acrylic ink after the red just got WAY to dark.

WAY.

Angels and Heaven

Angels and Heaven, originally uploaded by diahn.

Yesterday, I drew the angel from my nativity set. It's interesting to me that the angels in nativity sets are always female, even though Biblically speaking, they aren't. In the Bible, they are either referred to as masculine, or the gender is neglected altogether (i.e. "Heavenly Host" of angels). But - you never see a nativity set with a big warrior-like male angel, sword at his side. I wonder what it is that makes us feminize them? hmmmm...

pencil

And today I drew a little bit of heaven. Or, rather, I drew what was left after I finished eating a little bit of heaven. I'm pretty sure that Hershey's Kisses were dropped straight from the pearly gates. yummmm.

pencil and inktense pencils

Just Whisper it in His Ear

Just Whisper it in His Ear, originally uploaded by diahn.

There once was a boy named "D"
Who would not sit on Santa's knee.
Once we tried, but OH, how he cried.
And so - it was never to be.

I'll be back later with the drawing for the day. I just couldn't resist posting this picture. Five years later - still has never actually spoken to THE MAN.

Only 18 Drawing Days Left...

I finished my yesterday drawing this morning and then I did my today drawing today, too. As a result, neither are terribly good. But - I did them, and that is the goal of the month, now isn't it?

I drew the Mary figurine from our Nativity scene. It's funny - when I was a kid, I wanted our family to be Catholic. We were members of a large, well known, denomination, but it seemed that most of my friends were Catholic. I just loved to visit church with them - it was all so mystical and liturgical and pretty. My church didn't have carvings and paintings and altar pieces and incense - it had burgandy carpet and a really badly painted mural behind the baptistry that was supposed to represent the Jordan River, I suspect. I didn't make me want to visit the Holy Land.

I loved the idea of confession and repentance and penance, too. My church really didn't want to know you had ever sinned, and they didn't seem to have an insurance policy if you did. I wanted a priest, by golly. And a rosary.

ANYhow - I drew Mary, although I kind of think she looks like a cross between Mary and the Buddha. I used my Lamy Vista fountain pen, and just smudged the ink with a waterbrush.



Today's drawing is of a couple of keychains that Ron and I bought in Berlin. We had been in Germany for about 10 days, and were flying out the next morning, so we thought we'd go in search of an ornament as a souvenir. Yes, it was June, but come on - you should be able to find an SOUVENIR ornament! Well, we couldn't, even after going in every single shop that we could spot - I even looked for a Checkpoint Charlie ornament, but no such luck. Finally, we found these little keychains that were shaped like the crossing lights in what was East Berlin. I thought it was so strange that the lights were so happy in East Berlin, when the architecture was so dismal. Strange. Anyway - they hang on our tree instead of a proper ornament, but we love them anyway...



This photo is just for fun - I made this ornament (and a few others that hang on my tree) when I was in Kindergarten. I can still remember sitting at the kitchen table and painting them while my mom puttered in the kitchen. I still try to make at least one ornament a year, almost 35 years later. We'll be putting the finishing touches on this year's tomorrow, so Daddy can help.

Self Portrait with Deer

Self Portrait with Deer, originally uploaded by diahn.

Feeling a little kicked around today. Trampled. Frustrated. Nothing terrible - just one of those days in the life of a homeschooling mom that makes you want to pull your hair out. NOTHING was accomplished today that could be considered creative or worthwhile, althought I did get to eat a chocolate glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut, and I didn't even have to pay for it. (Thanks, C. - I needed that!)

DANG.

I'm going to do my Christmas drawing for the day - maybe it will put me back into the spirit. So - tomorrow should be a double drawing post kind of day. In the meantime - here's me...getting kicked around by one of those sleigh-pullers.

Christmas in Whoville

Christmas in Whoville, originally uploaded by diahn.

pencil and inktense in large Moleskine sketchbook

I bought this little metal Christmas tree at a local discount store a few weeks ago - it cost me about $3, I think. It stands about 10 inches hight and is shiny and sparkly - the base is covered with glitter, and the jingle bells really jingle.

It sits on the pedestal sink in my guest bath and is just adorable. It reminds me of the tree the Grinch stuffed up the chimney in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I need a miniature Cindy Lou Who to stand next to it.

Have I mentioned that I love Christmas?

I was going to wrap presents this morning while the boys were at school, but SOMEONE forgot to open the secret hiding place for me, so there are still NO presents under the tree. (Thanks a lot Ron-OLD).

Oh, I'm going to get such mileage out of that one...

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!

We're continuing our decorating frenzy - cutting and pasting and molding and painting... The boys and I made these "snowflakes" last week with different lengths of paper and some staples. I hung them up on the entry way chandelier and voila! Instant mobile. When they came home from school and walked in, they both went, "Ohhhhhh...wow! Mom - how did you get them up there?" That secret remains mine, lest they decide to hang up some poor playmobil pirate as punishment someday.

We watched "Rudoph's Shiny New Year," last night - a poor substitute for the original, but better than no Christmas programming at all. I decided I should draw Rudolph in my Moleskine while we watched.



The boys and I also started making new ornaments out of air dry clay, but they aren't dry yet, so we haven't been able to paint them. As soon as they are painted and dry, I'll take photos - we rolled the clay out like cookie dough and used Christmas cookie cutters to stamp out the shapes. Then the boys decided to use some of my old scrapbooking letter stamps to add our initials to all of them. They should be very fun when they are finished. And then maybe I can get my new tree...a pretty white one that will let my blown glass ornaments sparkle...

sigh.

In the meantime - here's a drawing of my favorite Christmas napkin rings. I got them at Target a couple of years ago in their dollar bins, but I think they are SO cute!!

Rocking Horse

Rocking Horse, originally uploaded by diahn.

This ornament represents the start of my obsession with Christmas ornaments. I bought it at a school craft fair when I was in the sixth grade, with money I had saved from babysitting neighbor kids. I don't even know what it is made of - it's light but rigid and painted with a silver metallic paint.

I still remember picking it out at the little store they had set up. I think I was supposed to be buying something for my brother and sister...

The obsession continues to this day - I love Christmas ornaments and decorations and lights and...and...and...my husband has cut me off this year. I actually NEED a new tree - I can't fit all my ornaments on the one we have. I NEED one just for my blown glass ornaments. Come on - you understand, don't you?

I can stop anytime I want...

J's Ornament

J's Ornament, originally uploaded by diahn.

And because I did D's ornament yesterday, here is J's from this year. It looks kind of like a cross between an armadillo and a lizard, with a springy tail and a bouncy head. I didn't manage to get the metal look across on this painting, unfortunately - I think because I painted it half before church and half after church and I forgot that I was going to save some whites...

BTW - J stood over my shoulder the entire time I did this and watched and asked questions and then told me I was the best artist in the whole world.

Now that kind of critique I can handle...

D's Ornament

D's Ornament, originally uploaded by diahn.

This is a little metal froggie ornament that I got at Target. Every year when I was growing up, my mom would buy us an ornament and put our name and the year on it somewhere. When we grew up and moved out of the house, she gave us all those ornaments for our own trees. I'm doing the same for my boys.

This one is the ornament that I bought for D for 2007. It's fly is on a spring mount, so it jiggles back and forth - I just loved the little bug-eyed expression on it. Why a frog for Christmas? Heck, I don't know - why not? It doesn't have to make sense, does it? It's kind of quirky - he's kind of quirky - it all fits together somehow...

Oh - and does anyone know of any good handwriting books (not calligraphy)? I really need to do something with mine - it's a bit middle schoolish, I think...

December

029, originally uploaded by diahn.

So, NaBloPoMo is over, and I can't stop posting. I woke up this morning thinking, "Gee, what shall I post about today," then realized that it was no longer November and, well - what the heck, I'll just keep it daily as long as I can, posting for the sheer love of it.

Speaking of LOVE - I LOVE Christmas. Linda and I were just talking the other day about loving Christmas. I love everything about it - the ornaments, the tree, the garland, baking cookies, parades, presents and the unrelenting scarfing of chocolates. I also love thise ridiculously pink ornaments, which I do believe I blogged a sketch of last year.

I also love having a goal and a deadline, which has worked miracles for me in November in many many ways. SO - I have a goal for December. Every day in December, I'm going to draw one of my ornaments or other Christmas-y goodies. So - don't change this Christmas-channel - The MyDecOrnaMo project has begun...I'll be back later with Drawing Numero Uno...

Forty-Five

IMG_0001, originally uploaded by diahn.

On November 30, 1962, this lovely woman married a tall Air Force airman and began a journey that would take them across two continents, a small island in the South Pacific, and six states.

Three children, five grandchildren and one great-grandson later they are still going strong. They're trying retirement on for size and starting to plan where they want to go next. They've inspired many people with their devotion to God, family and country; with their pioneering spirit that has led them to do things like build their own house (and I do mean literally - other than foundation and roof) on 20 acres of land in what used to be the middle of nowhere, and fly planes across the country and the world (she was the first woman to solo a plane at the Aero Club in Guam).

They taught their children, by example, what exactly a work ethic is by working hard every single day, and taught them how to always take the high road, no matter what someone else is doing. They taught them that honesty really IS the best policy by being scrupulously honest in every single thing.

So, Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. I wish I had a picture of Dad to post here, as well, but all I could find was one from his Zorba the Greek days. I love you both very much.

And Mom - you are as beautiful now as you were in this photograph...

If You Can't Do the Time

If You Can't Do the Time, originally uploaded by diahn.

Hey - I told them to clean their room, but they didn't listen.

What else can a mother do?

Ridiculous

Fall Break Trip 168, originally uploaded by diahn.

I love being ridiculous. Especially with my kids, and especially when I do something outrageous and silly that they really aren't expecting. Let's face it - in general, moms are the serious order-keeping parents and dads are the silly ones. That's how it was when I was growing up, and that's pretty much how my family is now. I keep the peace, Dr. SmartyPants comes in and wreaks the havoc.

Every now and then, though - like my mother before me - I feel the urge do something absolutely ridiculous, and it never fails to delight my sons, especially if I can incorporate bodily functions or rude noises. (My mother never incorporated bodily functions or rude noises - I inherited that gift from my father.) My mom liked April Fool's jokes and got us every year with some prank or another.

My silliness tends towards making up songs about underwear or farts. To a certain aged boy - that's hysterical...especially if you MOM sings about it. I have no doubt that my boys will be singing the words I added to the classic one-hit wonder song "Mickey" which originally goes something like:

Oh, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey...Hey Mickey.

My version was close...

O D, You're so smart, you're so smart you make me...well, you get the idea.

They sang it to my MIL who refused to believe that I had anything to do with it. I had a version for J, too - but the word rhymed with cute.

Hey - you've gotta laugh, right? I mean, there's only so much joy you can get from getting all the laundry done in one day. I'm going to go break out my guitar and try to remember the words to the song I made up while we were camping...simply titled, "Underwear."

Listen for it on a radio station near you....

The Magnificent One

Fall Break Trip 186, originally uploaded by diahn.

I have a dog named Oscar who is perhaps the best dog EVER.

Unlike Chico, he doesn't snitch my chocolate or growl at my children. He's funny and quirky and way too smart. I swear he speaks English, or at least understands it, and I mean in the way that I understand English, not in a "sit, stay, roll over" way.

We adopted Oscar from the local humane society when he was just about 6 or 8 weeks old. He was so small, he could sit in my cupped hands. The folks at the adoption center told us he was a Boston Terrier/Jack Russell Terrier mix, and would probably grow to be about 15-20 pounds.

Right. He weighs about 50 right now, and that's not just because of his middle-aged paunch. I don't know what he is, but I wish I did, because I would have 5 more just like him, and breed them and sell them as the best dog EVER.

He's about 7 1/2 years old, now, just 6 months younger than my oldest son. His face is flecked with gray and his eyes are starting to dim a little, but he's still pretty frisky. We call him the bionic dog because he had to have surgeries on both of his rear legs to correct a congenital problem with his kneecaps and he recently had one of the toes on his front foot removed. Please don't ask me how much all of that cost, because I'll lie.

And I would pay it all over again if we could keep him forever.

Catch

Catcher, originally uploaded by diahn.

Don't you just love to try new things? I do. I don't always succeed (I tried knitting - I really wanted to knit - just couldn't do it.) but I love to try. Sometimes I have to try things more than once to decide I can actually do it. I recently started playing guitar. I've tried on more than one occasion to play, but never could get my fingers to cooperate. But, over the summer I decided to try again, and lo and behold, something clicked and now I'm playing. I'm still playing basic stuff, but I've actually played complete songs. In public.

I don't understand people who don't want to at least try. My older son, D, is one of those people. He's usually content to just watch on the sidelines as others try new things. He's a great student of trying new things - it's the application of trying that he tends to skip. Until this fall, that is. He's played baseball for about three years, now - and has done pretty well - he's a great hitter. But this year he went up a league and they have the kids catching behind home plate. Totally new. The coach asked the kids who wanted to catch and D volunteered immediately.

I didn't know all this was going on until I saw him walk out onto the field with all the gear on. I couldn't believe it. I was so proud of him - he walked awkwardly and looked like it was hard to see out of the mask, but he didn't give up. The coach threw a ball at him that hit him in the facemask (on purpose) and he didn't even flinch. I was so proud. He TRIED! And he succeeded. He ended up being a pretty good little catcher.

I think the key to trying is to throw the fear of failure out the window. We need to redefine what it means to succeed. In order to succeed, one has to actually try, therefore success lies in trying, not in doing something perfectly. Perfection is boring, anyway.

So - go try something new. Pick one thing you've always wanted to do and just try it. It doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to matter a hill of beans in the long run.

Just try it.

In Case

IMG_0005, originally uploaded by diahn.

Just in case you thought I forgot how to draw...

On Thanksgiving afternoon - post-turkey, I sketched this sailfish that hangs on the wall at my in-law's house. The whole family was gathered in the den watching "Miracle on 34th Street" and talking, and I sat and drew the fish. My MIL snagged this fish on a trip to Mexico many years ago. It's probably as big as she is, and I know it took her a very long time to reel in.

Now it hangs on a wall in Alabama, in a room filled with mementos of trips - other fish, two rams that my husband and his brother hunted when they were young. I sketched some of those, too - but this was my favorite. Maybe I'll show the others another day. There used to be two boars that were mounted over the entry to the den, but one of our dogs would freak out every time it walked in the room and run back and forth between the dining room and the den, trying to find the back end to the boar. They had to take them down.

They watch over us as we play and laugh and talk and share. The boys ask over and over again where they came from and who got it and how old their daddy was when it happened.

This one is my favorite. I had no idea sailfish had polka dots. What fun.

Even more fun - I have to share this little journaling moment by my youngest son, J. I carry a Moleskine cahier journal in my purse for the boys to sketch in or whatever - especially for during church when they get a little antsy. This is J's entry for the day. (you may remember the same sentiment here. He's on a roll.) By the way - you have to read phonetically. He's just 6, you no.

Gazing

038, originally uploaded by diahn.

I find myself, sometimes, gazing so intensely at a problem that I can't see the solution. It's kind of like trying to find a faint constellation in the night sky - I look right where it is supposed to be and I can't see it, even though I know it is RIGHT there.

The key to constellation gazing is, of course, staring a little to the left or right of the actual location and letting your peripheral vision take over - suddenly the faintest of stars are clear and bright. It's the same thing with the problems and decisions we have to deal with every day. The harder we look at the problem, the harder it is to see the solution, even when you KNOW it is right there.

I've faced that recently in my own life. I had a decision to make and the answer was right in front of me and I couldn't for the life of me find it. I stared as intensely as D is in this picture, and it wasn't until I took my eyes off of it that the answer was clear. Part of the problem is usually that we are looking so closely at ourselves that we can't see what's going on around us, and that was the issue I was having. In making the "problem" all about me, I had lost sight of the solution and what was important.

It's another perspective thing, I guess. Maybe I should go back and edit the post where I claimed to have that perspective thing down pat. Apparently, I don't.

Now, if I could just find a way to apply this to chocolate - for some reason, my vision of chocolate becomes clearer the more I stare at it. And then it speaks to me. And then...

...well...I have to eat the problem...

Raiders

Pirate, originally uploaded by diahn.

Yesterday we at at my in-law's house - turkey, dressing, squash, sweet potatoes, broccoli, green beans, corn, mashed potatoes, rolls, roulage, buckeyes, brownies...

I gained 10 pounds.

Today we'll go to my parents' house and do it all over again. Mom had originally said she wasn't doing anything big, but I talked to her last night and she said she was just going to make turkey and ham and dressing, green rice, etc., etc., etc.

The good news is that I won't have to eat again until Christmas.

Aaargh...

Reflecting

Fall Break Trip 133, originally uploaded by diahn.

It's Thankgiving Day, and I thought that would be a good time to reflect on all the things I'm thankful for. They won't be in any particular order - just as I think of them. Could be a long list...

boys
a clear mind
vision
grandparents
books
education
my fabulous husband
friends
art supplies and the ability to use them
freedom
God
camping gear and the time to use it
chocolate
dogs
being able to hear
quiet
parents
teachers
doctors
servers who actually remember your order without writing it down
the blogosphere ( I love you guys...)

Oh, how I could go on - but the coffee just finished perking...

coffee

Okay - now I think I'm done for a while. If something strikes me during the day I'll try to find time to write it down and share it. No really - I know it's Thanksgiving Day, but anything for you...

;-) Have a great Thanksgiving all you Americanos - everyone else - have a great day of thankfulness. Even in the midst of our crazy, flawed world, there are plenty of things to spark a little gratitude.

Peace...

Chiquito Bandito...

Fall Break Trip 082, originally uploaded by diahn.

...the chocolate-stealing perrito...

Funny story for ya - This is Chico. Chico was my mom's dog, but she was really busy working her last couple of years before she retired and Chico was a bit neglected and she asked me if we would take him - knowing that I'm a sucker for a cute little furry anything. So, we did. He was a bit of a pill when we first got him (thanks, Mom) but he's really mellowed out and is not so snappy as he was when he was younger. Could be because he's too fat to lunge at you anymore - I don't know...

Anyhow, one time, when Dr. SmartyPants was off at a SmartyPants conference I had gotten the boys to bed early and went off to find my purse, in which was contained a beautiful, king-sized Hershey's chocolate bar. Now - you know the one I'm talking about - twice as thick as a normal Hershey bar - rich and delicious? Yeah - that's the one. I found my purse, sitting on the floor in the dining room and opened it up...No. Hershey. Bar...

Anyone who knows me realizes that this was a major shock to my system - I'd spent all day thinking about that chocolate bar and how I was going to savor each individual chunk as it melted on my tongue. So - I started hunting, thinking that maybe I had taken it out of my purse earlier in the day and just forgotten about it. I couldn't find it anywhere. BUT - I noticed little Senor Chico cowering in the corner of my bed - little brown nose sticking out from under the bedskirt.

I lifted the bedskirt and lo and behold - under there was the contraband. Well, the evidence, anyway. The entire chocolate bar had been consumed by an 8 pound dog. He even ate some of the wrapper.

My first thought was, "I'm going to kill him." My second thought was, "I won't have to. He's eaten enough chocolate to kill himself." You know - chocolate isn't good for dogs. I watched and waited for him to go into chocko-shock, but it didn't even phase him. Not a bit.

Except for the guilt.

Victory!

I woke up this morning, having had REALLY strange dreams last night where I was juggling about 6 different doctor apointments for myself, all within about a 3 hour time period, and getting more and more frantic as the deadline approached.

The night before I dreamed about snakes. I kept finding them in the house of a friend - they were hiding in the plants and slithering across the floor. I found one entire aquarium, covered by brown paper. It was on wheels and when I rolled it out and pulled off the paper, there was a large constrictor and a king cobra inside. The top was loose, so I decided to try and fix it. The cobra stuck his head out of the top and bit me on the hand. That's when I woke up.

What does all this have to do with the photo and title? NOTHING. I just felt like I needed to share - get it off my chest - release it into the ether. Thanks for listening.

Anyhow - back to victory! I love how kids celebrate a win. They go all out - yelling and shouting, whooping and hollering - arms raised up high in the air and faces full of absolute joy. I should point out that the celebration in the picture is in response to an imaginary victory - "Tony Stewart" up there in his #20 Home Depot car...umm...Big Wheel...just defeated a whole host of other "cars" including his arch-nemesis, "Jeff Gordon", also known as big brother D.

How often do we grown-ups do this? How often do we take such great delight in a completely insignificant thing that just made us feel good today? Not often enough, I'd say - at least in my case. Woo HOOO - I cleaned up my studio and now I can see the floor and actually work at the desk and reach my sewing machine where maybe I'll finally finish the cute glove doggie thing I'm making for my niece and the blue jean quilt I started 6 years ago!! *happy dance, happy dance* OH MY GOSH - there's a quarter-full bag of Kisses there on the corner of my desk - I can eat some chocolate later! *joy joy joy joy*.

There are 10 days left in this month. Let's all see how many completely wonderful, insignificant and beautiful victories we can find. If you need to do your victory dance in private, we'll understand...

Textures

P9013809, originally uploaded by diahn.

There are so many textures to life. Some are rugged- weather and time-beaten, others are polished - made smooth by water or wind. It's the material that determines the outcome of weathering, not the weathering itself. Softer materials, like the barn wood in the picture, tend to show all the imperfections inherent in it over time, while hard materials, like river pebbles or sandstone outcroppings are polished smooth by water and wind. Their imperfections tend to be hidden over time.

People are kind of the same way, don't you think? I look at people like my grandparents who are resilient and strong, even well into their late 80s. They've been through The Depression, and World War II. They've lost parents and brothers and sisters, cousins and friends and a grandson. Their children have had their moments, too. They've lived and prospered and wept and celebrated. Their faces show their age to a degree, but their spirits have been polished by time. Their imperfections, at least to an admiring granddaughter, are smoothed away. They have seen so much loss and change and I've never once heard them complain about it or show any bitterness toward anyone or anything.

Others, much younger and made of much less hardy stock are so different. I won't call out names, but they've seen losses, too. They've been betrayed by friends and lost loved ones, but instead of being polished by those experiences, the experiences have gouged out great furrows in them. They may look young and impressive on the outside, but their souls are pitted and hollow. Their bitterness spills out onto everyone they come into contact with.

Is it just a generational thing? I don't think so - I've met people my grandparent's age that are just as bitter and resentful as some of the younger people I know, and I've met a few younger people who have been polished by life's wind and water and come out shiny and smooth. I'm not exactly sure what the right set of circumstances are that produce the different textures, but I do know this...

I want to be polished, not pitted. And I want my children to be polished, too. I want to be 90 years old and have my grandchildren look at me and see nothing but beauty inside my wrinkled exterior.

I'd rather be a river pebble than a barn board.

Fill the Tank

I need a recharge. Do you ever get that way? I've got a lot going on, as I'm sure everyone does this time of year, but I'm not enjoying it so much. It all seems a little shallow and hollow and pointless. That sounds harsh. I'm enjoying some things - some that I really never thought I would enjoy or even do, but the day-to-day stuff is a little empty.

It could be the change in gears here - I've really enjoyed this blogging every day thing. I'm finding it less difficult than I thought it would be to write an entry every day and I like sharing my photography, BUT...part of the general blandness to my days may just be the lack of drawing and painting. THAT has become so much a part of me, so maybe not doing it is causing me to slip into a little bit of a funk.

I don't know. Maybe I should quit thinking so much and go draw something - splash some paint around. My studio is all clean and pretty.

Too pretty...

Harvesting

It's Saturday, and I'm cleaning out my "studio." I call it a studio because it sounds nicer than "the extra bedroom where I throw all the crap I find on the dining room table until I can figure out a better place to put it or just chuck it out the window. Oh, and my easel is in there." Good Lord.

I'm like a bulemic when it comes to housekeeping. I keep every little scrap of paper and half-crayons and the entire sheet of stickers that has one lone sticker left sitting in the corner. Then, usually without warning, I wake up one day and purge all that out of the space. Why I can't just do it on a daily basis really astounds and baffles me. No - I wait until the worktable is piled so high with paper and glue and broken toys that the boys bring me to fix that I make one wrong move and the whole thing comes tumbling down on me.

I love to look at those home organization magazines with the perfectly organized home office/classroom/craft area/art studio/surgical theater and wonder why I can't create that. Then I flip to the back and the "resources" section and realize it would cost me $50,000 to install all the custom cabinetry. Ahhh...

DANG.

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with all that. Sorry. But it does kind of remind me of wheat or hops or something and I sure could use a frosty cold...no. I need to keep organizing.

DANG.

Shadowlands

I've had this feeling lately of wandering around like a shadow through life. Do you know what I mean? I go through the motions and do all the things I'm supposed to, even the things I WANT to do, but I'm not sure it's making an impact on me or anyone else. What difference does it make to paint or draw or photograph or write about anything, anyway? It's not like I'm curing brain cancer. Hmm. Where's that perspective I was writing about yesterday?

Here's the thing. I've met a couple of the goals I set at the start of 2007. Here they are, as a reminder...

1. Hang some artwork in a gallery or art space, other than my own home...or the home of my mother.
2. Continue to draw from life, concentrating on the figure.
3. Further refine my "voice". Take stock in the things that inspire me, to which I find myself drawn, and combine them in a way that is distinctly me.
4. Write a coherent and succinct artist statement.

I've been juried into two shows and hung another painting in a member show. I've taken a life drawing class and really made progress rendering the human form in proportion. I wrote a coherent ans succinct artist statement, although I'm not so sure it actually describes my work.

Oh - I've just had an epiphany...it's number 3 on my list - that's the source of my shadowy feelings. The voice thing. Here's what I've noticed about my artwork over the last year. In some ways, I've been coherent - the Contemplation series has been good for that, but I started that over a year ago, and only finished one actually in this calendar year. For me, everything else has been all over the map, and I still haven't found something that moves me enough to delve into it. When I look at the paintings I've completed this year (far fewer than I intended, given how many blank canvases I have piled up in my studio) I realize that so many of them seem forced and stiff. They are colorful and bold, but they are starting to seem garish and a bit ridiculous to me, too.

It's funny. I don't feel that way about the portraits and figures I've drawn this year - the majority of those make me very happy and satisfied with the work. So does the apple I did back in April using the "flemish technique." Maybe the source of my artistic angst is really an impatience with the process of painting, and the realization that those paintings that I walk away from happy and satisfied require the most work from me, both creatively and technically.

I think it's time to begin the goals list for 2008 with a mind toward growth and development rather than just output. Maybe then I'll find my voice and my shadow will step back to where it belongs.

Perspective

Have you ever known anyone that had perspective problems? Maybe you are one of those people with perpective problems, I don't know. Sometimes I am. But - you know the people I mean - the ones who worry and fret and obsess about what's going to happen in five minutes like it's the biggest thing in the world, when if they would just get a little perspective, they'd see that it was all going to work out okay. They just needed to look at it from a different angle.

I've been blessed throughout my life with the ability to see past the current situation and gain a little perspective on the trials and tribulations of life (at least most of the time). Some might say it's not really a blessing, because it does make me a little unsympathetic to daily crises. My little sister would often come to me wailing about some boy or another, or some situation or another, and I would always advise her to stick it out -don't worry - what will it matter in 5 years? I don't think she appreciated my advice. Sorry K.

Isn't it funny how two siblings can each have such different view of life? My kids are like that. My oldest son is an in the moment worrier kind of guy. He reacts to situations as if the world were ending and he completely falls apart when bad things happen. My youngest son has a more relaxed attitude about things, generally. Let me give you an example...about a year ago, one of our goldfish died. D fell apart as if it were his favorite uncle that always brought him chewing gum or something...I mean wailing, rending of garments, gnashing of teeth. Over a fish. J watched this drama for a few minutes and said (very compassionately, of course) "It's just a fish. We'll get another one. DANG." Okay - I added the DANG - but he felt it. I could tell.

Do you remember the scene from the movie Parenthood, when Steve Martin is watching his kid's school play and his youngest runs up on stage and starts wreaking havoc on the props? Through the whole movie, Steve Martin had been a worrier (which he passed along to his own son). He couldn't stand the chaos and uncertainty of life. I just love it, though when you can see the light go on his his mind, while watching his wife and grandmother laugh and enjoy the chaos, that this is all a roller coaster ride and we can either embrace the ups and downs as part of it, or spend our lives on the ground looking up at everyone else enjoying it. He begins to embrace the chaos and it turns his whole world around. He suddenly gained a new perspective.

Carpe Chaos, people...

Ho Ho HO

My husband and I are going Christmas shopping this evening. I'm really not sure what to get the boys. They have so many toys - an entire closet full, really - what else do they need? Especially when they create such wonderful games from their imagination. Maybe I should get them more pillows, or an actual hurdle to jump over.

They set this up the other night, about an hour before bedtime. Then, they spent the next hour running and flinging themselves over the obstacle. Seriously - an hour. By the end of it, D had sweat running down the sides of his bright red face and he and little bro were cackling with laughter. Why don't they throw this much energy into cleaning their room? I guess it's not as much fun.

I love watching them do this - come up with an idea, make it happen and then throw themselves into the enjoyment of it. Sure, they knocked over pillows and tripped and stumbled, but an hour later they had perfected their Olympic style leaps and they went to bed satisfied with what they had accomplished.

Sometimes, I wonder who is learning and who is teaching here...

See - I AM Still Drawing

lightshow 008, originally uploaded by diahn.

The boys and I played around with the bulb function on my camera last night. It was fun and funny and silly and caused mucho howling laughter from the under 8 crowd. In this picture, J held down the shutter button while I drew a head with the LED flashlight that is usually attached to my keychain. D was in charge of turning the lights out once we were ready to go.

For more fun and games with the bulb setting - click on the Flickr banner in the sidebar...we made lightshows and ghost images - if you have kids, you should try it! If you don't, or yours all grown up and gone away - you should try it anyway!!

Incognito

Incognito, originally uploaded by diahn.

Have you ever wanted to be someone completely different than who you are? I have. I've wanted to be an astronaut, an adventurer, an actor on Broadway, a photographer for National Geographic.

I've wanted to be a veterinarian, a paratrooper and a novelist.

As a matter of fact, there are very few things that at some point in my life I didn't want to be. I changed my major a solid dozen times in the first two years of college, then I got a couple of degrees that I don't even use, except when there's an interesting program on Discovery and I need to explain some concepts to my kids.

Say it with me, "Lith-o-sphere...Lithosphere. Good job." If you are familiar with the term, you have either studied geology or you watch a great deal of educational television...

Okay - moving on...I have a point here somewhere. I think. Ah, yes - here it is. (I think it's the sinus meds that are making me so lalalala...) I believe, that regardless of your age or circumstances, you should be what you've always dreamed of being. Even if it is only for a day, or a week, or a month, or a year. Look into it! Always wanted to draw? DRAW! Always wanted to write a novel? WRITE! Always wanted to be a zebra? Well - you get the point. Life is too short to decide that trying is futile.

So, maybe you'll never be an astronaut, but I hear Space Camp is fun. I'll probably never be featured in National Geographic, but I will still take photographs of animals and nature just in case. Don't get me wrong - I love who I am - wife, mother, artist, friend - and I hope you love who you are, too...

...but dreaming and reaching are very good things...

Not a cloud in the sky...

...except for this one.

That's all I've got today. I can't breathe. I'm laying on the couch and napping. Bleh.

See you tomorrow...

Beauty Where You Least Expect It

Web, originally uploaded by diahn.

Don't you just love kids? No. This is not one of my boys. But hear me out. The boys and I were at the zoo the other day. We go fairly often - it's close by, we have an annual membership - it's safe and the boys can run and learn at the same time. Great fun, I tell ya.

So anyway - we had stopped at one of the snack stations to get drinks. The guys had gotten their drinks and wandered over to the side of the hut, and as I was paying, D yelled out "MOM!! Come here and see this!!" Now, understand that we are at the zoo - cool animals everywhere...white tigers and red pandas and lion cubs and elephants. I headed over to where he was standing and he points out this very large spiderweb glistening in the late morning sun.

We stopped and stared at it awhile, as if it were one of the enclosures the zoo had planned. Look at the intricate weaving - the way the strands are almost perfectly separated, the radial arms symmetrically arranged around the center. And it that center, perfectly still, the hunter waits.

Now, maybe you don't like spiders, but this is really beautiful. All located around the side of your favorite snack hut in the middle of a bustling zoo.

It gets my spider-senses tingling...

Vanity...thy name is Diahn

Fall Break Trip 039, originally uploaded by diahn.

About 3 weeks ago I had an appointment with an orthodontist. He took molds of my teeth to make a plaster model; he took pictures with my lips all stretched back, etc. Not exactly a self-esteem building experience.

Yesterday I went back for the consultation, where I got to look, up close and personal, at my crooked teeth. Man. Okay - here's the deal. I'm 39 years old. I've had these crooked teeth most of my life. I never had the luxury of orthodonture as a child - my family wasn't poor, exactly, we just didn't have alot of extras. I also have very poor vision, so new glasses and contacts were the priority, not a little misalignment of the front teeth.

Mind you - they aren't grossly crooked. Other people have told me that they never noticed they were crooked at all. I notice, though. And not long ago, my oldest son, D, said "Hey, mom. You should get braces like Ashlyn's mom." So my kids notice. My husband says I'm beautiful no matter what my teeth look like, but that if I want them, get them. And he really means it.

But, they've always bothered me. Not on a huge level, but they bother me more than my bloggy bottom or the various patches of cellulite on way too many parts of my body, so I think I'll get them fixed. I think. I find that having wanted to do this for so many years, I am really struggling with commitment. It will take 2 years, a bunch of money and a bit of pain and discomfort, all for the sake of a pretty smile.

A pretty smile...

I love to smile.

You'll just have to call me metal-mouth, I guess.