Saturday, August 09, 2008


Today marks a sad anniversary for my family.  19 years ago today, my brother, Brian, died in a motorcycle accident.  19 years.  It just blows my mind.  He left behind a beautiful wife, Melinda, a darling 3 year old boy, Jesse, 2 sisters, a mom and a dad and grandparents and a whole lot of friends, all of whom were devastated at losing such a bright light.

It's strange - some years this day makes me so sad, I can't stand it.  I just want to pull the covers over my head and ignore the passage of time until August 10 comes and I can celebrate my grandparent's wedding anniversary instead (67 years this time around).  Other years, I wake up and think of the date and I feel a twinge of sadness, but it's easier somehow to deal with it.  I wish I could say that every year since then has been easier, but it doesn't seem to work that way.  Two years ago I was more affected than I was 5 years ago.  Some days I just miss him more than others.

This morning was one of the good ones.  I spent this last week with Melinda and her daughter Sara, who has always been a niece to me, along with her sister Stevey, even though Melinda is not my sister by birth.  Melinda is my sister by choice, now - as much part of me as my own sister, Kristen.

Jesse has grown up and has his own son, now - named Brian for his grandfather.  Brian came to visit, too - and he's a joy.  Full of laughter and smiles and sparkly eyes.  Maybe that's why I'm not so sad today.  Because Brian may be gone, but he lives on in the grandson he never had the chance to meet.  See - Brian liked to laugh.  He had a ready laugh and sparkly eyes, just like (little) Brian.

I have to give you an example.  When we were younger, Brian's favorite thing to do was to make me insane, because I was 3 years younger and a girl.  So - he'd tell me jokes.  Bad jokes.  Jokes that made absolutely no sense.  But...and here was the genius part...he'd surround himself with people who were in on it.  Let's call them Larry and Fred.  Because their names were Larry and Fred...

Brian:  Hey - Diahn - c'mere...I've got a joke for you.

Diahn:  Okay - I love a good joke.  Lay it on me.  (I don't think I talked this way when I was 10, but who knows?)

Larry and Fred:  Yeah - it's a good one - you're gonna love it.

Brian:  Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear went to the park.  They played on the swings and the merry go round - they played four-square and tether ball.  They were having a great time.

Larry and Fred:  Snicker, glumph, hee hee

Brian:  They decided to go down the slide.  Papa Bear went first.  He got to the top, sat down, started sliding and said, "Wheeeeeee!"  Mama Bear went next.  She got to the top, sat down, started sliding and said, "Wheeeeeee!"

Baby bear went next.  He got to the top, sat down, started sliding and said, "Radio!"  Haa haaaaa!!

Larry and Fred:  Bwah ha ha ha (they clutch their hearts and fall to the ground laughing until tears start flowing.


Brian:  Come on - you get it, right?  "Radio!"  Ha ha hahahahahahahahahah!

Diahn:  Radio.  That's it?  Radio.

Brian:  Wait, wait - let me tell it again - maybe you missed something.

Larry and Fred:  Missed something...hahahahahahahahahahaha

Diahn:  Forget it.

I love that joke.