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Friday, June 04, 2010

Say What?

Jakey

My baby said the f-word yesterday.

Wait. I need to wail that one.

"Mah BAY-bee said the EFF word yesterdaaaaaayyyyyy."

In his defense, he read it at the library. More specifically, on a sign near the bathrooms on the outside of the library. It was a sign about that area being a no-smoking zone, and someone had expressed his or her feelings about that law in the only way they knew how - with a sharpie marker and a choice word.

But I tell you - hearing that word come out of my darling boy's eight year old mouth was like a knife through my heart. It was like hearing it come out of this mouth:

J

So we had a little talk there at the library bathrooms about that word, and how we don't use it in our family. And I skirted the issue of what it means, because that was Derek's first question...sorry, kid. That's a fifth grade question.

And I'm just not ready yet.

Later in the day, the boys were playing in the living room and I HEARD IT AGAIN. Let me explain this one... Joshua likes word play. One of his favorite things to do is to speak in acronym. He'll say, for instance, "Hey Mom, I'm going O.S.I.T.F.Y!" Then I get to translate. "Hey Mom, I'm going OutSide In The Front Yard!"

Yes, it's a lot of work for me, but it is funny, and he has yet to stump me.

So. Anyway. They are playing with Legos, and there's a battle raging under a chair, and Joshua says, "It's an F.U.C! Get it? A Fight Under the Chair! A F**K!" I looked up at him just as his head whips up from under the chair, his eyes grow twice their normal size, and he starts apologizing. "I didn't...I won't...I never...it was an accident...I'm so sorry..."

Mercy.

We talked again, I may have threatened the loss of his remaining stuffies, and he was horrified and so far today there haven't been any slips. I guess I should be thankful that he read it on a sign rather than learning it from me. It's not a word I use often, although there was a day, way back when, when it was my favorite curse word EVAH. Now I limit myself to an occasional "dang." (And that's only used ironically...)

For me, the f-word creeps in when I watch the news and see the mess in the gulf and the lack of response. I may not say it out loud, but I often think it, as an adverb, an adjective and a noun to describe the effort, the mess and the oil company.

But now, Mark is heading down to the gulf to straighten everyone out, so maybe I can shelve that particular expletive for a while.

Godspeed, Mark...kick some, uh...tails, yeah, tails!