If I Had a Million, Billion, Trillion Dollars

• I'd buy this car in full-scale, instead of staring at the Hot Wheel model on my desk.
• I'd buy a smaller house with more land and build a light-filled studio on it that would be a haven I'd seek every morning and afternoon and evening and night.
• I'd give a million to the organizations that help addicts become healthy and functional people again.
• I'd buy my mom and dad a house and some land that didn't have any rental property associated with it so they could learn to like people again.
• I'd finance my children's college education, but I wouldn't tell them it was paid for and I'd make them work really hard for it anyway, and the checks they wrote for their tuition would go to a scholarship fund for kids who didn't have enough money to go to college.
• I'd buy my husband any car he wanted, and build him his own private racetrack so he could drive the way he likes to drive.
• I'd give another million to start an organization to give kids whose family couldn't afford music lessons a private lesson once a week.
• I'd hire a housekeeper.
• His name would be Sven.
• I'd think about buying a baby grand, but because I just bought a smaller house, I'd realize the futility in that and just get our upright tuned.
• I'd finance a major ad campaign to convince people to not shop at Wal-Mart and to buy locally so businesses that really care about their employees and customers could thrive instead of die.
• I'd bribe local officials to go ahead and finished that damned road already.
• I'd buy Linda a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and a personal dog trainer so she wouldn't have to clean up after it.
• I'd give another million to a really under-represented cancer charity, because how else can they compete with the ta-tas?
• I'd convince Dave Matthews to come and play for my birthday party and then he'd just move in and play for me every day, and he and Dr. SmartyPants would be best friends and we'd all hang out together and talk about the good old days, but our house would be too small, so we'd just build him his own studio on our land, too.
• I'd still homeschool my kids, but our field trips would be slightly more elaborate.
• I'd probably still shop at Target, but I might not stick to the clearance rack.
• I'd show up here, day after day, and blog about nothing and people would tell me I was wasting my time when I had all that money to spend and charities to endow and Gwyneth Paltrow to hang out with, and I wouldn't care because I love all you people.

What would you do?