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So, I've been writing this post in my head about nasty, disgusting people and their public bathroom habits? And by people I mean women? Who should know better?

But I just can't do it.

There are some things that southern girls just can't talk about in public. There are certain things that offend the delicate sensibilities of my ancestral heritage. There are topics that cannot be broached in mixed company.

I might get the vapors and have to retreat to my fainting couch.

So I'm going to talk about Realtors®, instead. Actually, I'm going to rant about a particular type of Realtor®, one that defies all common decency and understanding.

I'll preface it by stating that our house in Arlington is on the market, and the Realtors® who have listed the house, and the lady who owns the house DO NOT FALL IN THE CATEGORY OF Realtors® OF WHICH I AM SPEAKING. They have been wonderful and considerate and excellent at checking to make sure we haven't been overly inconvenienced. I appreciate that very much.

I actually appreciate it even more, now that I've met the OTHER kind of Realtor®. Some of the other Realtors® who have shown the house have also fallen into the nice and considerate category and I can only assume that they are the Realtors® who have actually lived in houses that at some point were on the market, or have great common sense and compassion for others who are living in that situation.

Now, we run a fairly tight ship around here, so it's not too much of a stretch to keep the house tidy and neat for potential viewers, thank goodness, but the fact remains that I have two active boys and two dogs, and that we spend a great deal of our time here, as we homeschool. This means that when someone wants to come and see the house, I've got to get the school stuff put away, get the boys and dogs ready and go out so we aren't in the way. We have a nice park nearby, so that's fine, too - I just need an hour or so to get my act together. I'M VERY FLEXIBLE. No really, Melinda...stop laughing. I am.

But let me just run few a couple of Realtor® encounters...

1. There was the Realtor® who walked in the house without calling, while we were watching TV on a Sunday afternoon. He saw us sitting there. Then he just opened the door and started walking in. The dogs convinced him that was a bad idea. When I asked him if I could help him, he was irritated that we were home.
2. There was the Realtor® that called at 2:25 on Saturday afternoon, while I was in the shower, to tell me she was bringing her clients by at 2:30. When I called her back at 2:30, they were pulling up outside the house. Wouldn't that have been a fun showing? Look at the lovely vintage tile in the bathroom! Oh, and the naked lady!
3. There was the Realtor® who called to schedule a showing, but wanted a window between 2 and 6 pm. I explained that I'd need it narrowed down a little more and why, and he promised to call me when they were 15-20 minutes away. He showed up at supper time. Without calling. Needless to say, we didn't leave for that showing.
4. There were the THREE different Realtors® who walked into my house without knocking this past Sunday, assuming we were having an open house. The sign out front doesn't say open house. (I got paranoid after the second Realtor® walked in and checked the sign, but it didn't say anything about it being open.) There's no sign on the door saying open house. There are barefoot people laying around on the living room floor watching TV. Open house? Really?
5. And there was a Realtor® who called the wrong number and left a message with the wrong people that he would be bringing a client by at 11:30. He called at 11:20. We weren't home, but I got a message from the person he called at 11:35. I hope the dogs didn't scare him too much.

This list doesn't include the three or four non-Realtor® people who we've caught peering through our front windows, the two couples who also thought we were having an open house last Sunday, the older couple who spoke almost no English that just wanted to know if we were moving and could they please rent the house, and the homeowner from a couple houses down (who rents out his house) who also thought we were having an open house on Sunday, and also just opened the screen door and walked right in.

Mercy.  It's gotten to where I don't like to hear the phone ring anymore, but I know if I don't answer it, people will just WALK RIGHT INTO MY HOUSE.

Please don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. It's not every day, and it's only for a short time, but if you are a Realtor® and you're reading this, please give a half-second's consideration to the person living in the house you are showing, okay? Call the day before whenever possible. Schedule an extremely tight window of time for the showing. DON'T WALK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES without making a phone call first.

It's just not cool, man.